always tease tease tease - this indecision's killing me

photo by Steve Barr, Toronto Star 

i'll get to the clash in a bit...just bear with me and hear me out. [the title is lyrics from "should i stay or should i go now"] i'm feeling a bit rambly this morning, hope you don't mind. pull up a chair, grab a coffee, i'll tell you about last week and this wknd and you can tell me your story in the comments. i truly would love to hear it. that's the best part about being able to connect with other runners.the stories we share that -although in vastly different places- bind us together in experience and there's nothing like that to bring people closer together.

chilllast week, one day i felt chilled and tired, and i was whining and looking for an excuse to not run. when i get like this in training, it means i'm hitting my limit soon. sure, i should "listen" to my body. but...the deal is that sometimes my lazyass voice kicks in and i can't tell if it's my "body" telling me to slow down or just me wanting to avoid the rain and the wind...you know -- the basic need of all warm-blooded creatures to stay warm and dry. well, i bit the bullet and ran and i didn't get sick.then.

photo by Steve Barr, Toronto Star 

see? if a 101 year old can get out there, can't i? ftr, that's NOT my grandpa!

so that's what happened last week but on saturday, the sneezing and chills picked up just as i was getting my race kit for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon - i'd signed up for the half. i didn't tell a soul really because i just wanted to use it as a test run in my marathon training and just didn't need the pressure to do well...though i planned to :)

should i go?

by race day morning, i was feeling worse but my husband told me it was just a cold, i had no fever. cool. all night as i slept restlessly with my throat hurting and my nose stuffed up, still achy, i repeated to myself i have no fever...but wait, i have the chills. i'm achy...maybe i shouldn't run. should i run? i don't know. someone just tell me what to do? it's rainy out, it's windy, it's dark. what if i make myself more sick? [darling you've got to let me know now, should i stay or should i go]

it was a dark and rainy day - photo by scott ludeviks, marathoner,triguy

why not?

well, i decided to just go for it. we'd paid for the entry,for a hotel, the start line was beside our hotel, and then i had to work out the worst case scenario - that's what i do. the absolute worst would be that i felt so sick i had to drop out. oh well. that's part of running races, isn't it? that's another reason why i signed up for the half. i wanted out of my comfort zone. i'm not a fan of races - i put a lot of pressure on myself. this time, though, i prepared myself - i knew it wasn't going to be a stellar race, but at least i'd have lots of company and get in whatever miles i could. 

not too shabby

the race was as expected. i just didn't have enough gas in the tank to hit a PR or to stay below my former personal worst (on the same course, 3 years ago)...but i was glad i did it. i was positive throughout, sang along to my music, looked at the people ahead of me. i did push myself so i didn't really look around much but i was focused and in the game trying to use my energy to move me ahead..i managed an average pace of 8:24 pace and never once hit the wall or wanted to quit. in fact, i got impatient at the end, and powered up hill at 7:51 just to get it done.i'm actually pleased that given how i felt, i could run the half in a decent time.  

being sick sucks

since then, i've been pretty sick with whatever bug it is. this is day 4 and i'm starting to come out of it. i've been sleeping and staying in bed. now that the taper for new york has begun, i want to know that the bug is out of my system rather have it linger for a couple of weeks. i can take the rest. i've done over 95% of my workouts and i've achieved what i wanted to. 

now, back to the Clash...

my indecision does kill me. i waffle back and forth sometimes. it's like i know what i want to do but i'm not sure it's what i should do. it's miserable until i commit to a decision. then i'm free again. i do find however, the more tired i am, the further along i am in my training, the more i have these back and forth, hand-wringing conversations. ah, whatever eh, better to decide, roll the dice and come what may. no looking back.

 
taper is next....did you know that Joe Strummer, the Clash front man, ran 3 marathons. after he ran the paris marathon he gave a great interview to Steppin' Outside magazine. His taper plan is to not run at all for the 4 wks before a marathon and to drink 10 pints of beer the night before...here's the entire article. enjoy. http://www.strummernews.com/steppinout.html