boyfriend sweater

my friend e looking for a rainbow

take

i have a hidden need. it's sneaky. sometimes i like sneaky stuff. here it is…when friends come to visit, i hope they leave one of their belongings behind and i get to keep it for awhile. one friend left me a bright green hair elastic…another left me a sweater  (jackpot!). i don’t wear the hair elastic but i keep it with my earrings and necklaces.i smile when i see it. the sweater, i wear. i brought it work even. i wrap it around me and snuggle up, feel better. it’s like a boyfriend sweater. (but my friend is a girl in this case, not that it matters, but still, i know you were wondering- you see the term ppl know is boyfriend sweater.so if i said girlfriend sweater that would’ve made you wonder about my sexual orientation and well…that’s a topic for another time, isn’t it.) when they leave those things,the unexpected gifts, the more inhabited part of themselves, i feel like they’re closer to me. 

give

i’m a giver too…whenever i go visit someone i usually bring them a small gift.i have to.i get all happy buying the gift and thinking of the person …it’s like foreplay i guess. someone asked me why i like giving gifts – didn’t i get enough presents as a child? the real reason i give is because i don’t want to be forgotten. 

so yes running…i run. this is related to running…running brings the two together: giving/taking/sharing

give and take

two years ago, one spring morning, i was running with a guy and a girl in a forest near my house.to this day both the guy and i can remember exactly where on that path the girl told us her boyfriend was hung like a stallion.it’s awesome. that’s my favourite part about running with someone. the stories. the connection. the sound of our combined breathing, our limbs in perfect sync and fluid coordination as the words tumble out. i miss running with others for the pleasure of running and each other’s company. i miss the shared intimacy. 

now,when i run paths alone, i remember the stories in the places where they were shared. running still brings back that closeness for me. i hold onto it. like a boyfriend sweater.