Subject: Yeehaw, Freedom, liberation.....ooooh baby!
4:00 arrive and walk in - follow big lady two times my size or more down to her basement - house smells like stale smoke and her husband is sitting watching telly in shorts with high white socks pulled up. sugar room is her laundry room but has a large massage kinda table with a sheet on it in the middle. this room smells like tide and downy.
4:10 asks me to remove all clothing but bra - she doesn't touch boobies = they freak her out. says that she'll take it as easy on me as she can but the first time is always the worse
4:12: asks me to clean my armpits since I have put on deodorant and i've applied cream. determines my leg hairs dont grow at the same rate as my armpit and her word - not mine - pooner hairs. well, ok then. we're down to pits and pooner.
4:14 she dips her gloved hands into a big jar of honey sugar stuff (apparently the egyptians did this) and puts some powder on my armpit. i'm to keep my breasts away from her and so i have to pull my skin down while she pulls the other way.
4:15 first rip - didn't know what she was doing - expected more pain- it was like those fabric bandaids ripping stuff out...again, again and again...not so bad.
4:18 next pit - moves on and this time it hurts more - i'm thinking maybe i should have had codeine. but it burns for a few seconds and then its completely fine
4:19- super smooth pits - never seen them this clean of hair and i'm not a hairy gal
4:20 - the pooner - well, i had to pull up my less than taut belly skin and again she pulled as she applied the honey and then let her rip. the first rip on my lip just about had me clinging to the ceiling and my eyes might have rolled back into my head for a split second.
4:20:10 - pooner lips - this woman wastes no time - gets right in there and lets it rip over and over...told me the worst was over since she had removed the longest hairs and then shows them to me tangled up in the honey hunk she has in her hand. the worst was having to keep my legs butterflied, knees down and pull up on my flesh so she could get a good clean yank in....yowsers.
4:23: moves to upper thigh, outer lips - hurts but i'm getting the hang of it
4:25: clean up - removes strays and cleans up front - she says i should have a landing strip because otherwise its just too wierd looking...at this point i'm not arguing...sounds great.
4:30: fuzzy butt clean - says everyone has a fuzzy butt so don't worry about it - probably won't hurt at all - she makes me lie on my side and haul up on one leg and spread my butt crack open....holy hannah that was kind of strange, but hey, go with it, eh ...in for a penny.
4:32 3 big yanks and my butt is fuzz free - she was right = didnt hurt as much as the other stuff
4:33: gives me a washcloth and says to scrub myself clean - don't want to have a yeast infection with any sugar leftover on me. i scrub while she watches - she says i'm the best butt scrubber she's seen and i can stop now. how was i to know? nervous...didn't want yeast...
4:35: sprinkles pits and pooner with lotion i'm to rub in - tells me not to use deodorant for at least 8 hrs
4:40 -i hand over my $40 and book two more appts - have to keep it going now!